How being in love can affect our self-esteem
You must know someone (or even be that someone) who is always looking for a new love, who always relates to people who only bring disgust, etc. What can be behind this famous “rotten finger”?
After all, being in love can be complicated, but when it’s reciprocal, love can be such a beautiful thing. It’s great to have someone you can count on, who can listen to you, who will be by your side in good and bad times. When we love and are loved, we feel happier with ourselves, sometimes even more beautiful. And well, when we are not feeling so good, we have a reason to put ourselves up.
But what about when it always goes wrong? What can be behind this that you don’t even suspect? Low self-esteem, which everyone talks about but “nobody” has. So, get to know how being in love can affect our self-esteem.
How being in love can affect our self-esteem
When you have low self-esteem and start looking for love, you are quite capable of accepting anyone who appears, after all, you end up seeing yourself as “anything”. Low self-esteem means that during this search, if someone appears to hurt you, you even think that person is right; or worse, you think the problem is you.
The truth is that when you are not in love, the ideal is for you to find that love within yourself instead of looking for it in other people. Remember, no one will ever love you as much as you can love yourself.
Abusive relationship and self-sabotage. Don’t be fooled
Sometimes, even with low self-esteem, it’s also possible to meet nice people and start a nice relationship. And does that solve the problems? It depends, sometimes this love can show you how good you are too and it helps you feel better about yourself.
However, in most cases, self-sabotage happens, which is when the person with low self-esteem does not feel good enough for that relationship, and then begins to have behaviours that make things go wrong. In the end, self-esteem remains low and now with two people hurt.
This is the worst case scenario, as many people with bad intentions, when they realize that their partner has low self-esteem, take advantage of this (making it even possible that the relationship becomes abusive). And in most cases, the “victim” cannot see this situation. After all, this relationship makes the person lose even more self-confidence and starts to believe that will never “find someone better”.
How a strengthened self-esteem can influence a relationship
With good self-esteem, things are already quite different. Your search is more selective and you don’t fall in love with any scam that appears, after all, you know the crystal that you are! So not just anyone is going to shake your self-confidence and, if it happens, you will get over it with your feet on your back – and the life that follows. If you want to fall in love without falling into traps, the ideal is to always be in love first.
However, even with good self-esteem, sometimes we fall into a trap and get involved with what sucks. But you have an easier time seeing it, after all, you know that that person does not do you a favor in being with you and that you deserve someone who makes you happy. So you can get out of that relationship without blaming yourself for it.
Love can play an important role in self-esteem
The truth is that self-esteem influences love and vice versa. There are people who can make you feel amazing as there are people who can make you feel terrible. There are relationships that will pull you up and others down. However, the most important love must still be self-love, because even when everyone leaves, you still remain and it is your self-love that will help you see who are the good people for you.
So, if you think that love will improve your low self-esteem or make you feel more complete, this is very unlikely. People will only be able to love you completely when you feel truly full, and the same for you, you will only be able to fully love someone when you do not need that person’s love to be happy – and so you will be with them by choice, and not out of “necessity”.
