How to stop taking things personally in 3 steps
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Taking things personally happens when you interpret feedback as if it were reflection of your personal worth. It’s true, some comments may be about your worth as a person, but many comments may not be about you at all. When you learn to trust the difference, everything changes. So, learn here how to stop taking things personally.
How to stop taking things personally: 3 simple steps
1. Ask yourself: is this something I should really take personally?
First and foremost, raise your awareness. So often we take things personally on autopilot. Stop it. When you receive feedback, ask yourself how you should interpret it. You will not have a conscious choice about the matter unless you are consciously aware of your choice.
Too often we allow negative programming to sabotage us. If you are prone to interpret things according to the worst case scenario, then psychological attachments may be in play. Becoming more aware of our autopilot choices and changing them is essential in this case.
2. Take a brief trip to the other side of the equation
Since every comment is a guaranteed reflection on the commenter, then understanding the commenter is always helpful. The commenter is the other side of the equation. If you know the person well, then you can probably imagine (if you take a moment) what might be contributing to his or her perspective. This may be incredibly helpful.
For example, let’s say that someone doesn’t like your cologne. You know this person and realize their father always wore that cologne. He or she was abandoned by their father. And there you go. Of course they don’t like your cologne, but this has absolutely nothing to do with you.
Everyone has their reasons for interpreting the world the way they do. Most of these reasons bear no reflection on you whatsoever. Take the time to consider this before taking anything personally.
3. Separate yourself from your behavior
People often comment on what you are doing. It’s all too easy to take these comments personally, as it is often natural to assume that we are what we do. If you don’t like what I do, then you don’t like me. This might seem like a tough one to overcome. However, when you take into account the other person you can overcome taking behavioral feedback personally.
Here’s why: Most people who give you feedback on your behavior are not intending to give feedback on your worth as a person. They may criticize your behavior, but still respect or even love you as a person. If you can take a moment and soak in this realization, then it might be much easier to accept feedback.
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