How to Stop Yourself From Self-sabotaging in 4 Steps

You jump out when the relationship starts to get serious

There are many ways to ruin your own relationship, including without even realizing that you are experiencing this behavior. Most of the time this happens because the you are afraid of being hurt. Usually when the relationship begins to take on a more serious tone, some people find some reason to fight or end it. And, of course, perhaps because you prefer to end the relationship before you begin to become more vulnerable and get profoundly heartbroken.

Remember: Although relationships may have similar patterns, no relationship is exactly the same as the others, so the experience of each will always be different. You can’t think that every single relationship is doomed to failure.

How to stop yourself from self-sabotaging: You are always procrastinating

A classic sign of self-sabotaging is procrastination. Procrastinating may seem like just laziness, but it’s more than that, and usually points to some question behind it: it can be a tremendous and unconsciousness fear of failure or making mistakes. There are several reasons behind procrastination, however, it’s important to understand why you are always acting this way.

Why are you really putting off or avoiding that situation? Think deeper and see beyond laziness. For example, if you are delaying applying for an out-of-college job, you may be trying to avoid taking the responsibilities behind your financial independence or probably the fear of leaving your comfort zone.

Once you understand what is bothering you, you can try to challenge these hidden beliefs and fears. Take small steps to complete tasks and visualize a great end result, while allowing yourself to make mistakes along the way. Making mistakes is natural, nobody’s perfect.

You try to hide your true emotions by using alcohol and other drugs

With alcohol and drugs readily available, many people resort to these substances to lessen and avoid unpleasant feelings. Getting into the habit of using mind-altering substances is really dangerous and can lead you to an addiction.

Try not to see your feelings as negative. Having feelings is healthy, but running away from them is not. By changing your mood to avoid thinking about your problems, you may end up postponing a negative situation that will ends appearing in some point of your life.

Instead of keeping your feelings “stuck” and avoiding thinking about problems, allow yourself to experience emotions – even negative ones. If you feel your habit has become an addiction, seek help from a friend, familiar or professional.

You have the Impostor Syndrome

The Impostor Syndrome is a psychological disorder in which a person does not accept or admit their achievements because they do not believe they deserve them; a fraud, whose success is due to luck and at any moment someone can clear it.

Do the following exercise: take a pen and paper and write down all your achievements, even small ones. Fight the negative voice inside your head and believe that you are able to do a great job. You are worthy of your success and your happiness. It takes time to break negative thought patterns, but with persistence, you can get out of them.