How to heal your wounded inner child
Do you have a wounded inner child inside yourself? Every child faces emotional challenges that are key-points for their personality. Parents and family are fundamental to give emotional support to overcome those challenges and create an environment of safety and protection. Although each of us has some issues that come from unprocessed emotions as a child, and for that, we all have wounds, some of us need to pay close attention to this wounded inner child.
The traumas that come from childhood have a substantial impact on daily life and future decisions, and most of the times, we have trouble recognizing them, making them even more critical. For example, someone can avoid meaningful relationships if the environment at home was of fight and incomprehension. In extreme situations, these wounds can compromise someone’s life.
Let’s find out more about the wounded inner child and how to heal your relationship with it! Find out how to get into a reflective space.
Connect with your inner child
Start by thinking about your childhood, reflect about it. How was the environment at home? Did you feel safe? Did you feel a sense of belonging with your parents? Were you allowed to be your true self? How do you feel when you remember yourself as a child? Asked this to yourself and write down the answers and reflect about it.
Remember to take care of you, to be there for you, to take time for yourself.
Signs that you have a wounded inner child
There are some signs you need to pay close attention. If you identify many of these in your current life, remember that you need to do an effective work-related to your wounded inner child.
- You feel there’s something wrong with you
- You experience anxiety when you face something new
- You want to please everyone around you
- You experience the need to be in conflict
- You feel inadequate
- No achievement feels enough for you
- You always criticize yourself
- You are rigid and perfectionist
- You struggle to say “no” and stand up for yourself
- You have trusting issues
- You never feel close to others.
If you feel you connect to many of these issues, let’s find out more about how you can heal your inner child.
Repeat supporting affirmations
- I love you: some of us used to think we needed to achieve more to be enjoyed. Tell your inner child it’s loved no matter what.
- I hear you: some adults don’t pay attention to what children say, what can deeply hurt someone’s feelings and never really feel they have something meaningful to share with the others. Don’t suppress your inner voice!
- You didn’t deserve this: it’s easy to convince ourselves we needed to suffer, or we did something wrong, and that’s why bad things are happening. Change your mindset with these simple words.
- I’m sorry: allow yourself to feel ok with the things you did and didn’t do, say sorry to yourself for all the times you pushed too much.
- I forgive you: let go of the same and regrets.
- Thank you: be thankful to your inner child for all the things you did, show gratitude.
- You did your best: accept your failures and acknowledge you’ve always done the best of you.
You can create other affirmations that are important to you, more specific to the feelings you have to heal with your inner child. Be creative, be free and always positive!
Write a letter to your inner child
Writing a letter to your inner child will help you to organize your thoughts, but it will also strengthen all the things you have left to say. There is no formula; you can write whatever you feel you haven’t yet said and that will help with this relationship.
You can also write a letter from your inner child. Get in deep connection with it and let go and write down all the things that once you wanted to say, but you were not able to. It can be one of the most potent and releasing experiences of your life.
If needed, you can repeat both many times, the ones necessary until you feel your voice was finally heard, the one from now and the one from the child in you.
Do an inner child visualization or meditation
Search for meditation or visualization that can lead you towards meeting your inner child. You can do it with the help of a therapist. Another option is that you record the steps with your voice and then listen.
- Close your eyes
- Imagine yourself walking to a place where you feel safe and enter that place
- Give yourself some time to feel relaxed, safe and connected to this place
- Walk around and let your inner child appear to you
- Come close: What is your inner child’s face like? What are the emotions it expresses? What are the words said? – Give yourself time to communicate with it, make a question or listen to what is there to be said.
- Give a hug to your inner child and be thankful for it to show to you and be able to reconnect.
- Come back to where you were.
After finishing, try journaling your experience. Repeat it as many times as you like, allowing different aspects of this wounded inner child and your relation to come to light.
Remember to take care of you, to be there for you, to take time for yourself. Being your protector every day is a vital part if this process, and will allow your wounded inner child to feel safe as never before, because it will be no longer dependent on the others, but it knows it can truly rely on yourself.
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