How bad is our ego really?

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Ego can be defined as our identity, a word that comes from the Greek. Thoughts such as “my body and mind”, “my house”, “my possessions”, “my family”, “I should be happy”, etc. come from the ego.

Ego, self-awareness are words that relate to the word ‘ego’ but on a psychological plane. The definition of ego in psychology was first formulated at the beginning of the last century by Freud, who defined the human mind as being divided into three distinct components: the super-ego, the ego and the id. Each of these parts of our mind exercises a different function within the human consciousness. Therefore to know what the ego is and its significance in our psyche it is interesting to know first about the three parts of the human mind.

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There is a lot of talk about the Ego, but is it really good or bad?

The it, Id is the representation of the most primitive part of our mind, the desires, instincts, sexual impulses, aggressive behaviors and even childhood traumas that mark the thought patterns of our present life. This part of our mind functions in a dualistic way driven by desire and instincts.

On the opposite side is the superego which represents our moral conscience, the imposed norms of right and wrong, with a system of punishment through guilt. On this side is the idealistic view of what we should be. Because of this both the “it” and the “superego” tend to be in conflict, unless we are able to normalize our internal dialogue having previously become conscious.

The ego has the role of mediating between the conflict of the “it” and the “superego”, which evaluates the information that according to our beliefs and patterns suits us best in order to find the strategy that can regulate and cope with the contradiction between the “it” and our “superego”.

The ego is also considered our true identity in many cases, the role we take in our life. The ego even being necessary to live this earthly experience that we are living, if it is not in balance it can have negative connotations even for oneself.

The key with our ego is like everything else in the Universe, it is in balance.

When there is no balance between the ego and the self, mental imbalance begins to manifest, even on a transcendental and spiritual plane. This imbalance can manifest in emotional and behavioral discomfort etc. but in most cases it operates on autopilot from our unconscious mind.

From a spiritual perspective, the ego entails not living in unity consciousness, but duality by considering ourselves separate from others and from God due to identification with the physical body, the external, the material through our senses. When we forget our higher connection with the Source we are actually blocked by the ego.

From a transcendental plane our true state of existence is identification with the Soul, God, the source within us knowing that we are One with Creation. However, depending on the level of consciousness we are in, the level of our ego, we identify with our higher self at different levels. If our egoic level is high, we identify in a lesser way with our spiritual part, the essence within us.

In reality we are already connected with our essence. The ego when it is out of balance is a blockage because the identification with our soul is erased at times. It is about flowing and not letting the ego interrupt the contact with our transcendental being.

How to know if you are being dominated by the ego.

To know if you are being dominated by your ego, it is important to do some self-inquiry work, to listen to ourselves. The ego itself is vital for our mental balance on this earthly plane but when it limits us too much and blocks us it can be a problem for our mental, psychological and even spiritual health. We can observe that the ego distorts our reality through the following actions.

Proof of this is when you live your life from fear and do not know how to get out of your comfort zone. This can be an indication of a bad relationship between the ego and the self. When you make excuses for not moving forward in your life for fear of failure, when you try to control too much but in reality what scares you is the unknown and that blocks you.
When you try to compensate for your lack with false self-esteem, wanting to boast of achievements that make you feel that you are someone and thus soothe your superego.
When you seek external recognition as a form of validation of what in reality is the search for elimination of unconscious deficiencies. Your value lies in the external and you seek external valuation to be validated, you live in projection and envy.
Your reactions are of anger and rage, of wanting to dominate the situation, which deep down is a search for compensation of unconscious deficiencies.
You feel threatened and take things personally. You do not know how to deal with criticism because it is a wound to the idealized version of yourself.

It can be said in general when you live life “from fear”, non-acceptance.

Remember that having an unbalanced ego is also synonymous with not being able to take risks. The reason is that the ego tries to look for everything related to the idea of our ideal version trying to reject what imposes itself to our created ideal.

Therefore, when the ego is out of balance with the self, it hinders us through fear of failure. In order to enjoy good mental health, it is essential to balance the ego and to balance the ego and the superego through the ego. In those cases in which the ego tries to dominate and eliminate the it, to go in favor of the superego, the problems of imbalance usually appear.

To have the ego under control: Love yourself, but really! Stop looking for recognition from others. In reality to be happy we do not need almost nothing, everything is in our head.

It is not good to believe you are more or less than anyone else. Try to value your efforts and your achievements as well as your mistakes. Stop excessive self-demands! Try to set realistic goals. Perfection does not exist, so stop looking for it trying to satisfy the ego and the super ego. Live your limitations from acceptance. In some cases the ego distorts reality so that we try to give everything of ourselves to reach our most ideal version.

Life is not a competition, if anything with yourself. You must try to see that nothing defines you, be it positive or negative. Your higher self, your essence is above it all, above your ego.

Flow in the present. Enjoy the little things and value everything you have around you. By being in the present you have more at bay the tendency of the ego to try to satisfy the super ego and to leave it behind. It is important to try to work on our inner self in order to have a balanced ego. In this case, meditation or introspection will help you to achieve true balance.

The key with our ego is like everything else in the Universe, it is in balance.

Live it!

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